Saturday, January 06, 2007

Still addicted to Lorezapam.. and other mumblings

My first post in many months.....

I started to break my addiction to Ativan(lorezapam), but that only lasted a few days. I whimped out.
I know I'm addicted, my wife knows I'm addicted and my pdoc knows I'm addicted. I keep telling myself that I need to get off this stuff, but I don't. It must be my "addictive personality".

Other than this little problem, I am still doing very well overall. Since December we've been working "normal" hours at work. However, in March or April it will back to long hours again(12hrs each day). Now that I'm afternoon shift, my mood patterns are pretty stable. I don't "feel" bipolar and that's a good thing.

My children were home for the holidays and we hosted dinners for Christmas and New Years for both sides of our family. Surprisingly, everything went great. My son that is in the Air Force took vacation time and was at home for eleven days. Since my children live 3 hrs and 12 hrs away, we usually are only able to see our Airman son about twice per year. But thanks to the internet, we can talk to each other everyday if we want. Trillian is a great chat program since it combines all the major chat programs into one interface. I don't have to have multiple programs to talk to my family members anywhere in the great USA.

My goals for this year: lose another 20 pounds(lost 25 pounds in 2006), go down south and visit my son's Air force base, blog here more often and break my addiction.

Happy New Year to all.

29 comments:

Jon said...

Glad to see the update! Good luck in the new year!

Anonymous said...

You are not alone.

jane said...

I think I'm addicted to Xanax. I try to keep it at the lowest possible amount, but really should start cutting back on them.
I hope your weight loss goes well for you.

ariadneK, Ph.D. said...

It's awesome to see you back...bless ya, and I hope you are well. :-)

Andrew said...

Hi

I also have Bipolar 2 and I am busy getting off Xanor slowly after being on it for 15 months. it is hell and I was only on 0.5mg! Hang in there. At least you are taking it under the supervision of a doctor...

Empty Reflections said...

I am also addicted to Ativan. I've tried to quit and I just simply can't. It truly does help me though with the anxiety and sleeping.

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Anonymous said...

Hi I am a 43 year old female and have also just been diagnosed bipolar 2. I too am relieved that my years of craziness make sense now. Thanks for blogging and letting me see I am not alone... I am lucky and have a very supportive family. What a long strange trip its been...

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Anonymous said...

whoever that jane is...is severly evil. how could that person make that comment and then direct u to that site. I'm sorry that's sick.

I lost the love of my life to xanax. I will never forgive that drug.

Anonymous said...

Im 19 years old and have been on medication since i was 6. I was abused and molested and so i had PTSD and general anxiety disorder which lead to bipolar disorder. I started taking lorazepam when i was 13 and i became addicted. At one point i took 15 mg in one day and i almost didnt make it. I still struggle with this but acupuncture has been my miracle. Now im a 4.0 college student and i havent takin it in a year and four months. Anyway, i know what your going through and maybe acupuncture can help you get your life back. The first 18 years of my life are gone and i cant even remember them but now im starting over and getting off meds was the best thing i ever did.

lise said...

I have read your blog often and it has helped me understand a bit more what my husband is going through he has BP2 but you have been missing since January I hope you are ok

squealy said...

I think my husband may be Bipolar, and I am just recently trying to urge him to get help. I hope he will read your blog for inspiration. I do wonder how you are doing now?

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