Sunday, October 22, 2006

Memory loss

I've noticed over the last 6 months that my memory is terrible. I've also have been doing some technical studies related to my job. I'm having a very hard time grasping what I'm learning. Most of the time I don't even understand what I'm reading. I consider myself a relatively smart person who learns quickly, but that all has changed.
I get in the shower and I can't even remember if I just washed my hair, so I wash it again. My long term memory is not too bad, just my short term. I feel like I'm in the starting stages of senility.
I think this has to be drug related. I will discuss this with the pdoc on Monday. This is causing me a great concern.
I've been off Risperdal for at least 8 months, and just this week I started my detox from Lorezapam. I'm on 30% less ( 3mg >>2mg) of the Ativan/Lorezapam. Of course, I'm sleeping like crap and not getting a restfull sleep, but I expected that. Working 12hr days since March doesn't help. On the 3mg I was sleeping soundly. Now I wake up way too soon and go back to sleep and wake up again. Not very refreshing sleep.
With the change of the weather to the cold and dreary season, that has effected my mood also. I can even see it effecting those at work also. This can be expected. But its not good on my Bipolar.
I've been feeling really good for the longest time but now I feel myself slipping away. This is another concern that I will bring up with my pdoc.

As you notice with this blog, I haven't been posting for the longest time. Now that I'm having problem again- well here I am. Just like an unhappy customer writing a complaint letter, I am back to posting.

If I could just get my memory problem solved, that would make me happy. Right now it's dragging me down. Hopefully the pdoc can work on this in a non drug realted way. I'm so sick off taking drugs !

Have a great day!